Beards in the workplace...

The fact that the workplace has made having a beard into a negative disturbs me. I think back to all of those bearded brothers of old, and I'm sure they would be beside themselves if they heard an employer say, "you have to shave to get the job"?!?!?! What makes a non-bearded person, out perform a bearded person? If you ask me, having a beard shows commitment, and drive. I would much rather hire a bearded person, than a shorn conformist.

Here's why;

1: Bearded men strive to be on top, (not sheepishly moving through the cubical farm).
2: Bearded men spend less time shaving, and more time thinking of the next big thing.
3: Bearded men let their masculinity show instead of hiding it, (that makes them a much more calm employee).
4: Bearded men show an air of confidence, which helps crush your competitors.
5: Bearded men make the workplace more enjoyable, with their zest for adventure.
6: Bearded men can fix the printer.
7: Bearded men save the office's heating cost.
8: Bearded men provide security simply by being in the office and intimidating would be perpetrators.
9: Bearded men can be distinguished or rugged thus appealing to the masses. (excellent marketing advantage).
10: Bearded men can solve most any problem by just entering the room.


SO BEARD UP MY WORKING BROTHERS!!!









These statements are my opinion as a bearded man, not scientific fact, as I'm not a scientist.